As Salam. Peace be unto open diaries and to us all.
Ladies please listen to me. I think it is in this 21st that we need to be extra careful. I’ve racked my brain and I still cannot for the life of me find a reason why we think the western style of dating is ‘cool’. It is rubbish. Maybe you haven’t noticed but hello you are not a baturiya nor are you an unbeliever. Duk hirar da zakiyi kada ya wuce cikin gidan ubanki if you are not in your father’s house then you should have company, it is the Islamic way. In case that is not convenient then find a public place but never be alone, Oga shaytaan will always be willing to join the party. Islam never said you should be apart, Islam encourages visits for familiarity (not physical) before marriage but with a limit. Respect those limits, respect yourself. Know that shaytan will always be there cajoling you to succumb to your weakness but also know that Allah will always be there watching and guiding you as long as you seek it.
Any man who tells you to come see him in the name of twenty first century (I think some people seem to forget that it is the same Lord worshiped by the Prophet that is being worshiped in this generation) or wayewa then he does not see the difference between you and an object of pleasure and I am very sure he wouldn’t want an object to mother his children.
Abun mamaki is that women of nowadays do not know their worth at all, it is even painful. Do you know that you are to be chased after? That you are to be wooed and courted and you are to do yanga before you finally accept just because you are a woman? Make it spicy not bland like most relationships are now. Duk wannan na yanxu shirme ne saying that physical contact is a necessity because times have changed, then don’t just get married…what’s the difference?
Let him be creative in chasing you while you bask in the glory like the queen you are, if he is a true king, he will even find thrill in it. You are worth more than just ‘Hi. Bani number. Come to my house because I’ll marry you. Few sweet talk shikenan’. I am not saying we are not susceptible to sugary tongue, we are women, we are meant to be but then with prayers and a disciplined heart it will be easier to sift out mazan gaskiya da samarin shaho. And don’t mind all those men saying that women who insist on being courted will never marry because there are many fish in the ocean. Agreed, there are, you can go get yourself a slippery catfish found everywhere and in muddy places too while I the goldfish; who is very hard to find get claimed by the deserving patient person who was willing to take the right route.
It is all mathematics really, the final answer doesn’t really matter, its just a mark. But the steps, the steps are what fetch the most marks.
Let me speak in our lady-language. There two Hermes handbags worth thousands of dollars and you absolutely want to own one. Which one will you cherish and be overly protective of? The one that was brought home to you and handed to you on a platter or the one that you had to work for a year before you get it and everyday you watch it behind that show glass beautiful and protected wishing and waiting for it to be yours. Yeah we both know the answer. I’m not saying do immature long jan aji that will chase away even the most patient of men. But come on a man that isn’t your husband or father should not just say ‘sit’ and you will obey without hesitation. He won’t know your value. Ai ko miji ma ana mishi yanga.
I may sound old-fashioned but have you ever thought that in this time of moral decay, the old-fashioned way should be the best way?.
May Allah guide us all.
From an anonymous Muslimah.